Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

What is a good investment portfolio for someone starting in their 20s? 90% VT and 10% BND for a Roth IRA then 100% TDF for a 401k?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do some people dislike Gilmore girls?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What is the best music album of all time?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

How many of you have had your parental rights taken away because of lies and no truth whatsoever, and did you prove the lies that were told about you to be false either through drug testing or another way, but still had your rights taken?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why are Republicans so brainwashed and oblivious to the fact that a lot of the price increases going on right now is due to corporate greed, not inflation?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why doesn't California have the tools, people, means to put out these fires even though they know there will be fires every year?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can count

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why is my Whirlpool fridge not cooling but the freezer works? What is the solution?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Can you show pictures of your penis, big or small?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy bullshit

What is the dirtiest city in India?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

—— indirects on kuorans, irl and idols

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fakery